Reality Hits

Ice lined our driveway, windows were cold to the touch, tree branches motionless and not a soul in sight outside. I paced from wall to wall in my room with only one thing on my mind; my period was five days late. My heart wished it was just the stress of losing my father just weeks before or the beginning of the second semester of my senior year. Regardless of what my heart wished my mind was made up… I knew my body and something was not right. Next thing I know I am taking my very first pregnancy test. I did not even have the whole two minutes of contemplation the test instructions promised me I would have. Within seconds a light blue plus sign appeared and it only got clearer. First came an overwhelming feeling of shock, then a short-lived wave of joy, followed by a rush of fear and tears.

How would my family react? How would my boyfriend, the father of the child whose existence I just merely became aware of, react? Was the test even accurate? What would my future look like with this unexpected addition? What if I failed at the God-given blessing of motherhood? How would I afford everything this new life would need, want and deserves? All these questions rushed through my mind and more. I felt so alone. The next step would be one of the most daunting things I would have had to do in a very long time; I had to tell my baby daddy.

With a short and bittersweet good morning text followed by a dreaded “we need to talk”, it was not long before we were standing on my porch in the chilly morning breeze. How do you even tell the person your dating that their life has been changed and derailed completely? With a feeling of guilt and an absolute loss for words all I can do is show him the test. We both stare at the plus sign for what seems like an eternity when he turns to me, hugs me tightly, and with a catch in his voice says “That’s great baby, it’s going to be okay.” Without further words we both turn and head to our respective homes. No cute birth announcement, no jumping for joy, no immediate signs of happiness. Reality had hit us like a brick wall. We were teen parents and completely unprepared for what was to come.